just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
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