Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
