I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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