you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize