You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Randomize