I puked a lego.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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