Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
This is the high leading the old right now
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Rumble strips road head = magical
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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