No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
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