Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Randomize
