what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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