can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
