That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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