I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
