I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
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