she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
