Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
