I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
