Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
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