I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
