yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
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4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
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This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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