The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
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