he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
