We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
