Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
