im six kinds of drunk right now
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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