summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize