Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Randomize
