my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
