I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Randomize
