If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
