You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
