Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
