New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize