doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
