Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
