HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
