This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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