i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Randomize
