This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
