Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
