How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I believe in your delicious
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
