Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I color on your dick again?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize