ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
