the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
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