Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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