my vag is so smooth its legendary
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
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