lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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