he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize
