I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
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I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
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If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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