he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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