Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.