Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
FUCK WHALES
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