Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (949): just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will." http://tfl.nu/pn0l
  Replies (35) Good night (22433) Bad night (1065)
• Favorite

  (305): View more from Florida

  I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (305): I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez" http://tfl.nu/8edj
  Replies (18) Good night (7062) Bad night (1510)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (719): One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez http://tfl.nu/v3fs
  Replies (6) Good night (2484) Bad night (1090)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over? http://tfl.nu/p1bn
  Replies (14) Good night (4629) Bad night (1096)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole http://tfl.nu/g6br
  Replies (15) Good night (1058) Bad night (6080)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (253): We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up. http://tfl.nu/4lr7
  Replies (6) Good night (3791) Bad night (1122)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me. http://tfl.nu/8dr9
  Replies (6) Good night (2818) Bad night (675)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.

  (1-870): View more from Arkansas

  You always know what to say to make me feel better.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (870): If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you. (1-870): You always know what to say to make me feel better. http://tfl.nu/or61
  Replies (2) Good night (1851) Bad night (697)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack. http://tfl.nu/hyp4
  Replies (7) Good night (729) Bad night (1483)
• Favorite

  (435): View more from Utah

  Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (435): Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control. http://tfl.nu/z6u1
  Replies (2) Good night (1031) Bad night (1335)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (757): do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress http://tfl.nu/1usj
  Replies (4) Good night (1218) Bad night (495)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level. http://tfl.nu/rkz6
  Replies (1) Good night (547) Bad night (326)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough? http://tfl.nu/5o16
  Replies (2) Good night (501) Bad night (314)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (907): I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask? http://tfl.nu/djji
  Replies (3) Good night (454) Bad night (416)
• Favorite

  (927): View more from

  Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (927): Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer. http://tfl.nu/h284
  Replies (1) Good night (790) Bad night (204)

Randomize