Texts From Last Night

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  (614): View more from Ohio

  You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.

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  (614): You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat. http://tfl.nu/8yi0
  Replies (36) Good night (1040) Bad night (3185)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??

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  (309): why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat?? http://tfl.nu/gupl
  Replies (18) Good night (4893) Bad night (1282)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.

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  (301): thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants. http://tfl.nu/zsuu
  Replies (2) Good night (1293) Bad night (693)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.

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  (919): then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building. http://tfl.nu/wz5k
  Replies (6) Good night (1543) Bad night (610)
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?

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  (571): Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not? http://tfl.nu/ae9g
  Replies (13) Good night (1629) Bad night (599)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate

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  (302): Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate http://tfl.nu/9c8c
  Replies (2) Good night (976) Bad night (474)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...

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  (706): It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend... http://tfl.nu/nn4b
  Replies (6) Good night (1257) Bad night (696)
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  (952): View more from Minnesota

  WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.

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  (952): WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms. http://tfl.nu/gsmc
  Replies (6) Good night (536) Bad night (996)
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  (772): View more from Florida

  I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.

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  (772): I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix. http://tfl.nu/g0qx
  Replies (2) Good night (1118) Bad night (748)
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  (315): View more from New York

  Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?

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  (315): Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal? http://tfl.nu/b8jf
  Replies (16) Good night (1145) Bad night (470)
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  (+27): View more from South Africa

  Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.

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  (+27): Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything. http://tfl.nu/71ow
  Replies (1) Good night (607) Bad night (362)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?

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  (713): Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why? http://tfl.nu/s3mv
  Replies (4) Good night (547) Bad night (337)
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  (323): View more from California

  My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.

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  (323): My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job. http://tfl.nu/hsg6
  Replies (0) Good night (665) Bad night (252)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.

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  (903): I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything. http://tfl.nu/fkro
  Replies (4) Good night (539) Bad night (371)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well

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  (724): I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well http://tfl.nu/bhyq
  Replies (3) Good night (602) Bad night (222)

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