Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Got a toothbrush?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): Got a toothbrush? http://tfl.nu/c7ae
  Replies (7) Good night (2082) Bad night (1023)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (774): So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish. http://tfl.nu/ywfu
  Replies (62) Good night (5516) Bad night (746)
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (251): So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night. http://tfl.nu/7pk1
  Replies (11) Good night (5621) Bad night (1161)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could http://tfl.nu/ea9t
  Replies (4) Good night (3371) Bad night (1162)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving' http://tfl.nu/j3uq
  Replies (25) Good night (3796) Bad night (1205)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (973): Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever. http://tfl.nu/k2hn
  Replies (90) Good night (1758) Bad night (24564)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (416): At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out? http://tfl.nu/a2wn
  Replies (13) Good night (2751) Bad night (913)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (562): bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea. http://tfl.nu/kow3
  Replies (10) Good night (2635) Bad night (1092)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed. http://tfl.nu/3phj
  Replies (8) Good night (3227) Bad night (808)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good. http://tfl.nu/1b0u
  Replies (2) Good night (955) Bad night (433)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs. http://tfl.nu/7b1r
  Replies (6) Good night (1552) Bad night (569)
• Favorite

  (251): View more from Alabama

  How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (251): How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern. http://tfl.nu/mfwl
  Replies (17) Good night (2248) Bad night (800)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.

  (785): View more from Kansas

  Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (785): He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him. (785): Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!" http://tfl.nu/v4v8
  Replies (4) Good night (1035) Bad night (342)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village. http://tfl.nu/vbou
  Replies (1) Good night (1269) Bad night (360)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (937): Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals." http://tfl.nu/wo3q
  Replies (4) Good night (660) Bad night (293)

Randomize