U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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