spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
