I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
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