No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
