I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
